Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday, May 1, 2008

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

Just try this... It is from an orthopedic surgeon.......

This will boggle your mind.

You will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are NUTS......)

and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Send it to your friends to frustrate them too.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

A few weeks go I got a flat tire. By the way it happened to be only three days after I had brand new tires put on! Feeling like a super independent woman and not really having anything better to do I thought I would attempt to change it myself. By complete chance I had seen a video on Youtube on how to change a tire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN5QQJlT8uwwhich) was 3:25 long and a pretty woman was changing the tire; so I felt sure that this was something I could not only do, but do quickly. I have had MANY flat tires in my life time but I also had AAA or big brothers that would/could come to the rescue. As I got all of the tools out of the trunk I had this overwhelming feeling that I was accomplishing something great! So I went to work.

Step 1) Find the place where the jack goes. (5 min)
Step 2) Trying to get my hub cap off (25 min)
Step 3) Loosening the lug nuts the first time making sure to use the star pattern (20 min)
Step 4) jack the car up (at least 10 min)

**Ok so at this point I realize that changing a tire is much harder then the video showed but I would not let that stop me I was determined.

Step 5) Take off lug nuts. Now here is where it gets even more complicated. The lug nuts would not come off, I worked forever. They somehow got tight again and I could not get them loose. (35 min)

**Now I'm thinking of every guy I know that might be able to come over and assist with putting the tire on. I'm thinking the lady in the video is crazy, there is noway anyone could change a tire in less the 4 min! However coming to the conclusion that I must do this myself (B wasn't going to be home until later that afternoon) and that I had important things to do (window shopping) I pressed on.

Step 6) Remove flat tire, and put spare tire on using the lug nuts you put in a special place earlier (25 min)
Step 7) pray that the tire is on tight enough and that you will not die on the way to the tire shop to get it fixed! (15 min)

That said I changed the tire all by myself! It was a little bit longer then 3:25. And it was much more frustrating then it looked in the video. I would suggest to every lady out there... USE AAA! That's what they get paid for, make 'em work for it, and they know how to do it a lot faster.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

:-)

And I thought we had some crazy commercials in the United States! I found this very funny.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Christmas!!

Christmas Has Been Canceled

It's all YOUR fault!

You told Santa that you were GOOD this year...

AND HE DIED LAUGHING!!!

Holiday Eating Tips

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later then you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other peoples food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Years, You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa. Position yourself near them, and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner. (from http://www.basicjokes.com/djoke.php?id=1057)